Hello 2024: I want to fill my life with…

Hello 2024! I don’t care how my life and yours was up until now, but the beginning of a new year is always a good time to reflect, make positive changes and to start afresh.

Photo by @wordspenspoken

The past also doesn’t matter because we change over the years. I surely don’t want the things I wanted 20 years ago. I want different things now.

But with age, maturity, reading knowledge and planning experience, I learnt one thing: if we want something, we can actually increase our chances of getting it, by defining what we want, planning small steps that are do-able and taking one step at a time.

In fact, I have started doing that, using a weekly tracker for each month, I check off steps when I actually did something towards my goals of exercise and other habits that I have been wanting to cultivate but struggling to accomplish. This practice was inspired by the book Organize Tomorrow Today by Jason Selk, Tom Barthow and Matthew Rudy. It feels amazing and positive even if I didn’t check off most days but when I got one or two in and I keep going the next week. By the end of the year, I can see my effort and overall progress on the trackers.

So for the beginning of this year, I wanted to visualize what I want this year to look like and just let that list flow!

For 2024, I want to fill my life with….

Plants and gardens,

Walks and nature,

Yoga and breathing,

Canvas and colors,

Children and laughter,

Healing and prayer,

Coffee and sunlight,

Fireplace and plush throws,

Friends and hugs,

Water fountains and music,

Love and giving,

Generosity and donations,

Community and support,

Family and quality time

Hospitality and sharing,

Cleanliness and order,

Discipline and respect,

Hard work and ethics,

Helping and serving,

Hobbies and creativity,

Sleeping and rest,

Nutrition and fitness

Communication and relationships

Blogging and reading!!!!

What do you want to fill yours with?

Happy new year!

I plan on making trackers for some of these and reviewing them often to see how much progress I make towards what I want. Why not consciously spend our time putting in the effort for what we want rather than letting the year slip by? I’m excited. Wish you all the best for your desires to come true and for you to be blessed with everything you want.

Lots of love and a Happy New Year from @wordspenspoken ❤️

Positive gets positive

I started with a compliment about how Suvath is generous. He gave candy to two people who got together and left him out. He was laying on his back at bedtime taking in my rambling about being nice even when people are not nice, taking the high road and not resorting to revenge. I talked to him about how revenge leaves you feeling negative and how doing a good deed leaves you feeling positive irrespective of how the others react to your actions.

He dejectedly told me he was generous and did the right thing but still didn’t get any blessing. I said “ah! I know why it’s because we keep forgetting to do our thankful list.. we forget about our blessings list.. we all need reminders.. I’m like that too..”

He initiated his list seeing my excited recalling of the fact. He made a long list of things he was thankful for and said, “See mommy my list is very long!!!” I smiled with love and gratitude.

Happy Thanksgiving!

I Appreciate your presence here. My best to you. ❤️ @wordspenspoken

No agendas

Sarina was so excited to meet Mother Walrus. She got ready for school and was thrilled to be escorted by her teacher to the special meeting. She and a few others had been hand picked by the school to participate in this initiative. She has so many ideas to change the world. During the drive there, She dreamt of how her ideas and work would be noticed. Maybe there would be a newspaper article and she would become famous! After all she always did have a passion for helping the world in some way. The area of climate change was close to her heart. She wanted to focus on reducing the use of plastic.

Photo Credit: Oceanwide Expeditions

She skimmed the notes she had written down. Perhaps they could raise funds to come up with non-plastic take out boxes and cutlery and offer it to restaurants for free. She also considered designing a cardboard crate that can be used to hold fruits and vegetables before billing them at grocery stores to avoid the plastic bags.

Mother Walrus was a climate change activist with several years of experience and she would surely be impressed by these ideas, she thought. And if she isn’t, she had a whole speech planned for convincing her on why her ideas were important. She definitely had to make her case since there was good competition against the other smart students who were part of the project.

They finally arrived and when they got down, Mother Walrus greeted them warmly by the sea shore where she lived. There were a group of sea animals hanging out at a distance but we hopped on to a broken boat where the meeting would take place away from the crowds.

All the students took turns in presenting their ideas one by one. She was all pumped up with energy and ready with her long list of ideas. She was pleased with the way she presented when her turn was done. After all students presented, Mother Walrus was to speak. Sarina fidgeted in her seat eager to listen to her wisdom and teaching. The moment finally arrived: Mother Walrus, cleared her throat and simply said, “I’m very thankful for this opportunity and glad I can be a part of it. I will let the children take the lead on the ideas. I have no agendas.”

An informal discussion took place at this point on how to move forward with the project based on all ideas presented. But Sarina’s mind was still stuck on what Mother Walrus had said…

I will let the children take the lead on the ideas. I have no agendas.

Can you believe she said that? Mother Walrus- the climate change activist said that. She had no agendas on a climate change project she was to work on with students! That just sounded really generous. Generous with her knowledge, generous with her time, generous with her good intentions. That’s how Sarina saw it.

She was tongue-tied by the gesture and it’s impact. She tried to stomach the beauty and weight of those words. Here she was letting herself think that she was going to change the world and become famous and feeling all self-righteous about her helping tendencies. But this person who knows so much more, who can offer so much more, who has done so much more, had no agendas and was willing to serve unselfishly, to give without expectations, to work without being seen. Beautiful.

She learnt something very important from her that day. Making a difference does not have to be big, loud and fancy. There was no need to compete for credit and agendas don’t need to be owned. But it could simply be to make yourself available for a cause that you care about. Period. “No agendas”.

How to make friends

A simple guide for the new school year or for any other reason!

Resource Credit: The science of making friends by Marisa Franco’s, PhD, Adapted from Platonic Love, Psychology today. – I broke it down to make it kid-friendly

Reblog – Responsible Parents

I am saddened to see Serena Williams leave the tennis court. Maybe permanently. Damn…she was/is a legend. Uff…I shed some tears! Serena and her …

Responsible Parents

The guilt train – No thanks

Photo Credit: Merriam Webster

I refused the warm welcome offered onboard the guilt train that I have ever so often boarded so readily

What changed was, I had gotten to know so well the company that seeks to find fault with none other than me

It had taken but several years for me to recognize them when they embrace me in a big hug as though to comfort me, sometimes even lift my weight, but it has all been only to quickly drag me down into a deep deep fall

As I struggle to get back up from the pits, they would patiently continue to give me company as long as I would entertain their presence

For hours they would talk to me like a friend telling me how everything could have been better if not for my mistakes so I must take all the blame.

They would also convince me to do things that I was not comfortable with, tolerate the things I didn’t want to, and allow others to cross my boundaries. Why? All because it was all my fault.

I would wallow and wallow in this misery for days, sometimes even months. Because I wish I could have done better but I hadn’t. And because of that, now I must do things I don’t want to. Typical and easy solution but something that dragged me down into the depressive valleys even further.

Unfortunately one cannot do a something they don’t want to or take something they can’t bear for long and such circumstances only spiral into vicious cycles of hopelessness

I no longer want to go this route, I decided. If I made a mistake, that is exactly how the events were to play out anyway so I can learn from my mistakes and grow. Today I can choose not to board the guilt train, I can choose to move on, I can choose to “just be” in the plush green meadows of the present moment, soaking in the waters, basking in the sunlight and live free every moment.

Photo Credit: @wordspenspoken

The “I hate you incident” at a preschool – An inspiring story I heard.

My heartfelt Praises for a Teacher- A head of school, who would call the parents of a student for saying “I hate you” to a couple of other kids, all in a preschool classroom.

I would have never thought this was a big deal that warranted calling the kid’s parents, especially when the other kids seemed fine with it (maybe not in their hearts, but since when did people care so much about that?)

Reasons why I thought it wasn’t a big deal:

. Growing up, I have said “I hate you” to my older brother a million times and it didn’t mean I was bullying him or was ever a bully at school to other kids. I think it’s just an expression of anger or resentment towards another when a kid is at a loss for better words.

. I had gotten so accustomed to subtle bullying stories I hear when I interview middle schoolers affected by bullying, where teachers may not even come to know what is happening in their absence. I think by the time kids move on to middle school, we as a community have lost the opportunity to teach kids how to treat others. It is no longer in the teacher’s control. Parents are doing their best and unfortunately have no control over other parents. It happens day in and day out to the meek, the quiet, the different, the dull, the slow, the one who doesn’t comply, the list goes on…

. In the elementary school setting, I had interviewed a parent once, and she told me how the norm was to not blow up any mistreatment that happens to kids because going to the teachers may result in the teachers mistreating the child. Sadly. I love teachers. I understand it may not always be easy for them. According to me, what they do is the most noble profession whatsoever. Possibly they need more support and empowerment from society at large.

Amidst many more similar hearsay’s and amidst the frequent and heart-breaking violence that goes on around us today, this “I hate you incident” was refreshing and cheered my heart.

It stood out as a beautiful story of a teacher who cared to teach the more important aspects of life from a very young age- Compassion, Love, Respect, Boundaries and Communication.

I knew right away that this had to be written down and published somewhere, to cheer other hearts like mine. There is despair in the News everyday. There is some hope here, and there is still some hope out there.

I loved how she stood
. Not to minimize as small or insignificant
. Not wait for reactions to get intense before reacting
. Not assume it didn’t hurt anyone
. Not ignore because that was easier to do
. Not not care because it was not her children
. Not dismiss because she has a syllabus to cover and a schedule to keep.

So, when I interviewed five year old Ray on the day of the incident, he gleefully shared with me “I got candy today cos Jay didn’t treat me right, he said “I hate you”, and Ms. D opened a special box and gave me and Moe a Candy!!!”

When I went on to interview Ms. D herself, I asked her, why she as the head of school paid so much attention to this incident. She told me she cared deeply about the issue of bullying. She told me that the teachers were to alert her if certain inappropriate words were used by children that were characteristic of bullying and she would go into the class to talk to the children. This way the children who used hate-words would understand that the consequence of expressing their feelings in that manner, meant that Ms. D would show up and talk to them about it. The child would be told why he/she should not do that. And since the parents get notified of the incident, the child is also likely to get a talk from them. All these steps are taken to reinforce that the said behavior and words are unacceptable. Without reactions and consequences we cannot teach children the difference between what is appropriate and what is inappropriate, what is acceptable and what is unacceptable.

Just from this short report, I understood Ms. D’s dedication and character at a deeper level. I saw that she genuinely loved and cared for all the kids in her school including the one who misbehaved. Because he needed to be taught. He needed to be taught right now at the age of 5 that speaking hate to another is not ok.

A great teacher, teaches appropriate behavior and moral values and not just math, science, arts and the like. Thank you Ms. D for taking the time to do that and having your heart in standing for Bullying Prevention and Non-violence.

This short story is not to criticize or judge anyone that falls short for whatever reason in teaching, protecting, supporting or loving children but it is to glorify, appreciate and applaud the one who did, the ones who are doing it and the ones who will do it.

This is a cause that needs much attention from our society, our world. My love to all children, parents and teachers. ❤️

(Based on a true story)

I appreciate your presence with me here. My best to you. ❤️ @wordspenspoken

Contentment – Is the grass greener in the Little Mermaid’s Castle?

Amanda had had a long…hard… day. As she wiped down the last stretch of the kitchen countertops, inhaling the gentle lemon scent of the disinfectant spray, she yawned several times. It was one of those days when she was too tired to do one more thing before she went to bed.

However, just like every other day, she knew she had to push herself through, until all responsibilities were done. When she was almost there at the finish line (Yoo-hoo, Woo-hoo!!), she was both looking forward and not looking forward to this one – a Talk-cuddle time with her 8 year old daughter Sarah before kissing her goodnight.

Amanda always tried her best to be present and enthusiastic for this activity, since there was something about these ten minutes that made her daughter open up and connect with her like no other time of the day. Her pediatrician told her back in the day when Sarah was a toddler that, this one-to-one time with the child at bed-time would go a long way in their relationship.

Today it was a real effort and she wished she could have just had this talk earlier in the day when she wasn’t as tired or sleepy. But she knew in her heart that there was a mental release in both of them at the end of the day and an intimacy and quietness that could not be recreated at other times or at other places.

Not wanting to compromise, Amanda resigned into her daughter’s bouncy queen bed and snuggled under the covers. Leaning her back against the pillow, she took a deep breath as she wished for a small escape from her mundane days that involved the same routine every day- of cooking, dishes, cleaning, taking care of the needs of her husband Eric and of course the center of their world- Sarah. The scent of lavender from her daughters hair seemed somewhat calming and helped her unwind.

Her thoughts wandered and her heart yearned for some excitement at the possibility of living a magical life – maybe the life of a princess. Not just a human princess – no that would be too ordinary – how about a mermaid turned princess? Now that sounded satisfying in Amanda’s brain. It involved magic, love and excitement. She casually mentioned to her daughter as they got ready for their talk-time, “Wouldn’t it be really exciting to be a mermaid princess like Ariel?”

Art by Sana. Art edited using Clip 2 Comic.

Sarah thought for a moment. Her answer to come would stun Amanda. Her sweet little girl had grown on so many levels. When Sarah was younger, this bed-time routine involved a story-time with Amanda reading books to her. But Sarah was now an avid reader and always read books before bedtime herself.

Sarah bluntly remarked to her mother’s comment on Ariel’s life, being an exciting prospect: “Ariel had issues. She was a mermaid, but she was so curious about the life on the shore that she lied to her dad and sneaked up to the shore. She fell in love with a human prince and wanted to change from being mermaid to human so she could get married to him. She was not happy where she was.”

Amanda was now wide eyed at the realization of how people struggle with being happy where they are! And her own life didn’t feel as bad anymore once she realized that Ariel’s wasn’t perfect either. Ariel’s story was not real, but hers was and she had the choice to appreciate the good things. And all from her little baby girl’s perspective!

There will be boring days, there will be exciting days and that’s just how everyone’s life is. Duh! But hey, we all need reminders.

And so, Amanda realized that the grass was not greener on the other side, it was just the bad angle that made it appear so. She just had to look longer at her own side of grass, water it when needed and enjoy the growth!

This was a sweet little moment for her. She felt warm love and affection in her heart and remembered how lucky she was for her family and how she loved them and everything about them.

Amanda cheerfully declared “You’re right sweetie!!!, you are so RIGHT!” She thanked Sarah for her wise words, gave her a tight hug, told her how proud she was of her and how much she loved her.

After she kissed her goodnight, she said, I’m as happy as I can possibly be, right where I am.

-Based on a true story-

Appreciate your presence here. My best to you. ❤️ @wordspenspoken 

Mental health resource

Source: My life is worth living. Thank you for this excellent resource.

Generosity Quote

Resource credit: Happy life images