No agendas

Sarina was so excited to meet Mother Walrus. She got ready for school and was thrilled to be escorted by her teacher to the special meeting. She and a few others had been hand picked by the school to participate in this initiative. She has so many ideas to change the world. During the drive there, She dreamt of how her ideas and work would be noticed. Maybe there would be a newspaper article and she would become famous! After all she always did have a passion for helping the world in some way. The area of climate change was close to her heart. She wanted to focus on reducing the use of plastic.

Photo Credit: Oceanwide Expeditions

She skimmed the notes she had written down. Perhaps they could raise funds to come up with non-plastic take out boxes and cutlery and offer it to restaurants for free. She also considered designing a cardboard crate that can be used to hold fruits and vegetables before billing them at grocery stores to avoid the plastic bags.

Mother Walrus was a climate change activist with several years of experience and she would surely be impressed by these ideas, she thought. And if she isn’t, she had a whole speech planned for convincing her on why her ideas were important. She definitely had to make her case since there was good competition against the other smart students who were part of the project.

They finally arrived and when they got down, Mother Walrus greeted them warmly by the sea shore where she lived. There were a group of sea animals hanging out at a distance but we hopped on to a broken boat where the meeting would take place away from the crowds.

All the students took turns in presenting their ideas one by one. She was all pumped up with energy and ready with her long list of ideas. She was pleased with the way she presented when her turn was done. After all students presented, Mother Walrus was to speak. Sarina fidgeted in her seat eager to listen to her wisdom and teaching. The moment finally arrived: Mother Walrus, cleared her throat and simply said, “I’m very thankful for this opportunity and glad I can be a part of it. I will let the children take the lead on the ideas. I have no agendas.”

An informal discussion took place at this point on how to move forward with the project based on all ideas presented. But Sarina’s mind was still stuck on what Mother Walrus had said…

I will let the children take the lead on the ideas. I have no agendas.

Can you believe she said that? Mother Walrus- the climate change activist said that. She had no agendas on a climate change project she was to work on with students! That just sounded really generous. Generous with her knowledge, generous with her time, generous with her good intentions. That’s how Sarina saw it.

She was tongue-tied by the gesture and it’s impact. She tried to stomach the beauty and weight of those words. Here she was letting herself think that she was going to change the world and become famous and feeling all self-righteous about her helping tendencies. But this person who knows so much more, who can offer so much more, who has done so much more, had no agendas and was willing to serve unselfishly, to give without expectations, to work without being seen. Beautiful.

She learnt something very important from her that day. Making a difference does not have to be big, loud and fancy. There was no need to compete for credit and agendas don’t need to be owned. But it could simply be to make yourself available for a cause that you care about. Period. “No agendas”.

The “I hate you incident” at a preschool – An inspiring story I heard.

My heartfelt Praises for a Teacher- A head of school, who would call the parents of a student for saying “I hate you” to a couple of other kids, all in a preschool classroom.

I would have never thought this was a big deal that warranted calling the kid’s parents, especially when the other kids seemed fine with it (maybe not in their hearts, but since when did people care so much about that?)

Reasons why I thought it wasn’t a big deal:

. Growing up, I have said “I hate you” to my older brother a million times and it didn’t mean I was bullying him or was ever a bully at school to other kids. I think it’s just an expression of anger or resentment towards another when a kid is at a loss for better words.

. I had gotten so accustomed to subtle bullying stories I hear when I interview middle schoolers affected by bullying, where teachers may not even come to know what is happening in their absence. I think by the time kids move on to middle school, we as a community have lost the opportunity to teach kids how to treat others. It is no longer in the teacher’s control. Parents are doing their best and unfortunately have no control over other parents. It happens day in and day out to the meek, the quiet, the different, the dull, the slow, the one who doesn’t comply, the list goes on…

. In the elementary school setting, I had interviewed a parent once, and she told me how the norm was to not blow up any mistreatment that happens to kids because going to the teachers may result in the teachers mistreating the child. Sadly. I love teachers. I understand it may not always be easy for them. According to me, what they do is the most noble profession whatsoever. Possibly they need more support and empowerment from society at large.

Amidst many more similar hearsay’s and amidst the frequent and heart-breaking violence that goes on around us today, this “I hate you incident” was refreshing and cheered my heart.

It stood out as a beautiful story of a teacher who cared to teach the more important aspects of life from a very young age- Compassion, Love, Respect, Boundaries and Communication.

I knew right away that this had to be written down and published somewhere, to cheer other hearts like mine. There is despair in the News everyday. There is some hope here, and there is still some hope out there.

I loved how she stood
. Not to minimize as small or insignificant
. Not wait for reactions to get intense before reacting
. Not assume it didn’t hurt anyone
. Not ignore because that was easier to do
. Not not care because it was not her children
. Not dismiss because she has a syllabus to cover and a schedule to keep.

So, when I interviewed five year old Ray on the day of the incident, he gleefully shared with me “I got candy today cos Jay didn’t treat me right, he said “I hate you”, and Ms. D opened a special box and gave me and Moe a Candy!!!”

When I went on to interview Ms. D herself, I asked her, why she as the head of school paid so much attention to this incident. She told me she cared deeply about the issue of bullying. She told me that the teachers were to alert her if certain inappropriate words were used by children that were characteristic of bullying and she would go into the class to talk to the children. This way the children who used hate-words would understand that the consequence of expressing their feelings in that manner, meant that Ms. D would show up and talk to them about it. The child would be told why he/she should not do that. And since the parents get notified of the incident, the child is also likely to get a talk from them. All these steps are taken to reinforce that the said behavior and words are unacceptable. Without reactions and consequences we cannot teach children the difference between what is appropriate and what is inappropriate, what is acceptable and what is unacceptable.

Just from this short report, I understood Ms. D’s dedication and character at a deeper level. I saw that she genuinely loved and cared for all the kids in her school including the one who misbehaved. Because he needed to be taught. He needed to be taught right now at the age of 5 that speaking hate to another is not ok.

A great teacher, teaches appropriate behavior and moral values and not just math, science, arts and the like. Thank you Ms. D for taking the time to do that and having your heart in standing for Bullying Prevention and Non-violence.

This short story is not to criticize or judge anyone that falls short for whatever reason in teaching, protecting, supporting or loving children but it is to glorify, appreciate and applaud the one who did, the ones who are doing it and the ones who will do it.

This is a cause that needs much attention from our society, our world. My love to all children, parents and teachers. ❤️

(Based on a true story)

I appreciate your presence with me here. My best to you. ❤️ @wordspenspoken

Contentment – Is the grass greener in the Little Mermaid’s Castle?

Amanda had had a long…hard… day. As she wiped down the last stretch of the kitchen countertops, inhaling the gentle lemon scent of the disinfectant spray, she yawned several times. It was one of those days when she was too tired to do one more thing before she went to bed.

However, just like every other day, she knew she had to push herself through, until all responsibilities were done. When she was almost there at the finish line (Yoo-hoo, Woo-hoo!!), she was both looking forward and not looking forward to this one – a Talk-cuddle time with her 8 year old daughter Sarah before kissing her goodnight.

Amanda always tried her best to be present and enthusiastic for this activity, since there was something about these ten minutes that made her daughter open up and connect with her like no other time of the day. Her pediatrician told her back in the day when Sarah was a toddler that, this one-to-one time with the child at bed-time would go a long way in their relationship.

Today it was a real effort and she wished she could have just had this talk earlier in the day when she wasn’t as tired or sleepy. But she knew in her heart that there was a mental release in both of them at the end of the day and an intimacy and quietness that could not be recreated at other times or at other places.

Not wanting to compromise, Amanda resigned into her daughter’s bouncy queen bed and snuggled under the covers. Leaning her back against the pillow, she took a deep breath as she wished for a small escape from her mundane days that involved the same routine every day- of cooking, dishes, cleaning, taking care of the needs of her husband Eric and of course the center of their world- Sarah. The scent of lavender from her daughters hair seemed somewhat calming and helped her unwind.

Her thoughts wandered and her heart yearned for some excitement at the possibility of living a magical life – maybe the life of a princess. Not just a human princess – no that would be too ordinary – how about a mermaid turned princess? Now that sounded satisfying in Amanda’s brain. It involved magic, love and excitement. She casually mentioned to her daughter as they got ready for their talk-time, “Wouldn’t it be really exciting to be a mermaid princess like Ariel?”

Art by Sana. Art edited using Clip 2 Comic.

Sarah thought for a moment. Her answer to come would stun Amanda. Her sweet little girl had grown on so many levels. When Sarah was younger, this bed-time routine involved a story-time with Amanda reading books to her. But Sarah was now an avid reader and always read books before bedtime herself.

Sarah bluntly remarked to her mother’s comment on Ariel’s life, being an exciting prospect: “Ariel had issues. She was a mermaid, but she was so curious about the life on the shore that she lied to her dad and sneaked up to the shore. She fell in love with a human prince and wanted to change from being mermaid to human so she could get married to him. She was not happy where she was.”

Amanda was now wide eyed at the realization of how people struggle with being happy where they are! And her own life didn’t feel as bad anymore once she realized that Ariel’s wasn’t perfect either. Ariel’s story was not real, but hers was and she had the choice to appreciate the good things. And all from her little baby girl’s perspective!

There will be boring days, there will be exciting days and that’s just how everyone’s life is. Duh! But hey, we all need reminders.

And so, Amanda realized that the grass was not greener on the other side, it was just the bad angle that made it appear so. She just had to look longer at her own side of grass, water it when needed and enjoy the growth!

This was a sweet little moment for her. She felt warm love and affection in her heart and remembered how lucky she was for her family and how she loved them and everything about them.

Amanda cheerfully declared “You’re right sweetie!!!, you are so RIGHT!” She thanked Sarah for her wise words, gave her a tight hug, told her how proud she was of her and how much she loved her.

After she kissed her goodnight, she said, I’m as happy as I can possibly be, right where I am.

-Based on a true story-

Appreciate your presence here. My best to you. ❤️ @wordspenspoken 

🎼Heat waves 🔥are freaking me out 🎼

Picture credit: Sheny Amaya

Gloria was driving her son to Horse riding lessons that morning. She got an unexpected question during the 20 minute drive.

Pablo: “Mommy, what does freaking me out mean?”

Gloria: “Why?”

Pablo: “It comes up in the Heatwave song…”

Gloria: “Oh okay…you know how surprise works? – it’s a good kind of feeling, but it is sudden- like you didn’t know it was coming. So freaking out  is sort of like the opposite of that. It is a scared kind of feeling that happens suddenly.”

She came up with an example for him to understand: “Hey so if you are in school and you hear that I had a car accident, wouldn’t you freak out?“

As she pulled up at a red signal she turned around to see if he got it.

There was a muffled giggle as he looked back at her.

She was appalled and said: “So you think it is funny that I have had a car accident?” The signal turned green and as she turned left it took her but a few seconds to realize what the giggling was about.

Gloria: “Pablo!!! Not a pee-pee accident in the car!”

There was an explosion of laughter for that. Thats right, he has always loved bathroom humor. 

She knew she had to come up with a different example at this point, if she wanted to stay on topic.

Gloria: “Like, what if you hear that I was hurt and I was in the hospital?” Now that he understood.

And then, he went on to ask: “Why does the song say Heat waves are freaking me out? Is the heat wave like a big wave from the ocean that is scary?”

Photo by Pexels

With complete ignorance on what the song was really about or the lyrics, she extended an explanation with the limited knowledge she had:

“Sweetie, heat waves have nothing to do with ocean waves. It is called heat waves because of heat traveling in the air like waves. It is nothing to be scared of, but it is something to be sad about. It is happening because of climate change. We, the people have not taken good care of the earth. We cut down a lot more trees than we should’ve and so the air on the earth is getting hotter and hotter and hotter than it should be and therefore resulting in heat waves.”

Pablo: “Okay, but we can turn on the A/C if it gets really hot right?”

Gloria: “Yeah that’s right, but if you think about people who don’t have a house and who cannot afford an air conditioner, they could die from the heat if it is too much for the human body to take. All we can do is be more climate-conscious and do what we can for the earth. I haven’t done much so far other than understanding what I can recycle and what I cannot recycle in my town and put them in the right trash cans, because that way, at least we are not adding items that can be recycled to the great pile of stinky trash on the earth!”

Sweet Pablo goes “Mommy, can we plant a tree in our house to save the earth?”

Gloria: “Aiyaiyai, I’m Sorry man, we don’t have enough space in our backyard, but maybe we can find an event in our town where we can go plant a tree in a space owned by someone else?”

But for those interested in planting trees- this maybe a cool thing to do!-Plant a tree.

When she came back home and actually listened to the song to see if her answers were right, It was quite hilarious to notice that the song was in no way connected to Climate Change. And the lyrics did not even say “Freaking me out”, but it said “The heat waves are faking me out”. Nevertheless, the message of the song was impressive. It turned out to be about deceptive emotions in relationships. Boy, was she glad she didn’t have to explain that to a toddler. For more perspective on the song Heatwaves by Glass Animals, the lyrics and the article of interest, Click here.

Gloria’s thoughts on What can you or I do for Climate Change?

. Take reusable bags to the grocery stores (Thinking…”When I remember to do so“) to reduce the use of plastic and also maybe think of other ways to use less plastic.

. How to Compost is something worth looking into. Click here for some background on that. If you have a garden, you can Compost food waste. If you don’t, you can research what services your town offers to recycle organic matter.

. Sharing what you know or learnt about Climate Change and ways to fight it, with friends and family or on social media.

*I had no idea that Whole Foods market is the only place in my area that would recycle No. 5 Plastic until one of my Climate-conscious friends shared that with me.

*Also I was really surprised to find out through online research and phone calls that no Plastic is accepted for recycling in my town-Numbers 1 through 5, no matter what the packaging material says.

*When I lived in an apartment I did not know that glass and aluminum cans could be recycled. And a lot of my friends didn’t either. Again each Apartment or housing community is different but the first step is awareness. The next is willingness to research and find out what services are available in your area and what you can do.

Gloria thought to herself…“Maybe I also did something good for the earth by sharing about climate change with my young son, part of the future of the earth and that’s a small win!” Small steps can make a big difference! . Click here to find some resources on how anyone and everyone can make a difference in the area of climate change.

Why should we do anything about Climate Change?

Check out Recent World News relating to the impact of Heat waves caused by Climate Change. Do your research about what is going on in the rest of the world and how it can affect the area in which you live. Click Here for an article on Heat waves in India & Pakistan on May 23, 2022.

Appreciate your presence here. My best to you. ❤️ @wordspenspoken